The Structure of a Freemasons Lodge

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I used this in a speech in 2006, when I was Junior Warden of my lodge. It quite amused me when I re-read it😁.

 The Senior Warden

Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
Is more powerful than an Intercity Express
Is faster than a speeding bullet
Walks on Water
Gives policy to God

The Junior Warden
Leaps small buildings with a single bound
Is more powerful than a goods train
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
Walks on the water if the sea is calm
Talks with God

The Senior Deacon
Leaps short buildings with a running start and a favourable wind
Is almost as powerful as a goods train
Is faster than a speeding airgun pellet
Walks on water of a swimming pool
Talks with God if special dispensation is given

The Junior Deacon
Barely clears a garden hut
Loses a tug-of-war with a train
Can fire a speeding bullet
Swims well
Is occasionally addressed by God
 
The Inner Guard
Runs into buildings
Recognizes trains two out of three times
Is not issued ammunition
Can stay afloat with a life vest
Talks to walls

The Tyler
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings
Says "Look at the choo choo's"
Is a danger to himself with a water pistol
Plays in mud puddles
Mumbles to himself

The Worshipful Master
Lifts buildings and walks under them
Kicks trains off the track
Catches speeding bullets in his mouth and eats them
Freezes water with a single glance
HE IS GOD!

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